Stupid Harry Potter Stories
by phix27
Summary: Random things happen to Harry, Voldie and everyone else! Harry gets a gun, Voldies in da House! and a Harry Potter song! R&R Please People! It really is funny! Chappie 26 is up!
1. Evil Harry Clones

Disclaimer: Zzzzzz. Huh? Why are you waking me up? You already know I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: These stories are completely nothing. So, I'm dedicating this to Crazy Dawlish because he has been so good to me and I've been horrible! Jeez, I'm turning into a sap. Need more sugar.

Stupid Harry Potter Stories

By: phix27

Harry Potter was walking to his friends' compartment. "Hey, guys, what's up?" he asked. "Do we know you?" asked Ron. Harry laughed. Then, he noticed they were serious. "What? Don't you recognize me? It's Harry, remember?" "You can't be Harry, because Harry's over there," said Hermione. Sure enough, Harry was sitting by Luna. "AHHH! It's attack of the evil Harry clones!" Harry ran away screaming. Luna blinked. "So, who wants pie?"

TBC


	2. Favorites

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own Star Wars! ("Ow! OK! I lied! Just don't hit me again!")

A/N: Even though no one reviewed my first chapter, I will write another chapter anyway because I like to write.

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories**

Chapter2: What if?

What if Hermione was stupid? Then Harry would have drunk poison in the first book. Ron would have never made the Quddich team. And Hermione's favorite saying would be: I like eggs. So, let's thank J.K.R for making Hermione smart.

What if Harry had a twin from another universe?

Name: Harold

**Favorites:**

Food: pie

Color: purple

Super Hero: J.K.R Man (who he made himself!)

Song: Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx

Let's hope we never meet him.

What if Ginny had died in the Chamber? Tom Riddle would have come back two books earlier than he was supposed to.

TBC

A/N: Next is when Harry meets Harold! Sure to be scary.


	3. Harold

Disclaimer: I am J.K.R. man! And I created Harry Potter! Ouch! I tripped over my cape! What's this? A note? It says 'you don't own Harry Potter you twit!' I guess I don't own Harry Potter. After all, notes don't lie. 'U bet we don't!'

A/N: Wow! That was a long disclaimer! But, you'll understand it more when you read this chapter. Thank you to my ONE reviewer. I love you!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories:** Chapter 3

By: phix27

It was a normal day at the Dursey's for Harry Potter. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. It was Lupin. He said to Harry: "I think there is someone you should meet." Then, he showed Harry Harold. Harold had red hair, hazel eyes, and, in other words looked the complete opposite of Harry. "Who is he?" Harry asked. "Heello. My names is Harold," then he lowered his voice, "And, don't tell anyone, but I'm J.K.R. man." "Who is J.K.R. man?" Asked Harry. "Shhh!" "J.K.R. man is a Super Hero he made himself," said Lupin. "Why is he here anyway?" asked Harry. "Because, he's your brother."

"AHHH!" Harry woke up screaming. "Thank Goodness it was only a dream." "Your right, Harry. It was only a dream," said Voldemort. "Your right, Voldemort, I should go back to sleep." Harry lay back down. Then, his eyes shot open. "Wait a minute… When did I get a bed?"

**TBC**

Push the pretty purple button. **PUSH THE BUTTON!**


	4. The mambo

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: Hey peoples! Sorry this chapie took so long, I had writer's block. Hope you like!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories**

By: phix27

One day, Voldemort was sitting in his study with Snape, plotting ways to kill Harry Potter.

"We could poison him, sir," said Snape.

"Not original enough, Snape," said the Dark Lord. "Think bigger."

So they sat there and pondered, when suddenly, Voldie got an idea.

"I know!" he said, snapping his fingers. "We'll make him…"

"Yes? Yes?" asked Snape in anticipation.

"We'll make him do the mambo!" said Voldemort.

"Genius, sir! Genius!" said Snape.

The rest of what happened is for you to decide.


	5. Dr Phil

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Dr. Phil.

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers. I hope this meets your standards. I love you all! blows kisses

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories**

By: phix27

"Hello viewers and welcome to today's show," said Dr. Phil. 'Today we'll be talking to people who are obsessed with killing. Please welcome today's guest, Mr. Voldemort."

The audience claps.

"Hello, Dr. Phil," said Voldemort.

"Hello. Now I understand that you are obsessed with killing."

"Yes that's right," said Voldemort.

"What can you do to stop that?" asked Dr. Phil.

"Nothing. AVADA KAVADA!" said Voldemort. And that was the end of that.


	6. Banana

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own a banana!

A/N: This is so stupid and… well, that about covers it. Enjoy!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry and the Banana**

By: phix27

One day, Harry Potter was hungry. So, he went to the kitchens to get some food. The house elves gave him a banana. Just as he was about to eat the banana, he heard a voice say "Stop!" He stopped, looked around, then shrugged and moved in to eat the banana again.

"Please don't eat me," said the voice again.

"Who said that?" asked Harry.

"I did." The voice seemed to be coming from the banana.

"Are you talking?" Harry asked the banana.

"Yes," said the banana. "I am a magic banana. If you were to show me to people, you would be famous."

"I already am," said Harry, and ate the banana anyway.

A/N: Tada! Don't you just love me? Next chappie has Ron and… well you'll just have to wait and see!


	7. Ron and the

Disclaimer: Do I have to keep repeating myself?

A/N: Hey all! Sorry this chappie took so long, I had MASIVE writer's block. On with this chapter!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: The Itsy- Bitsy Spider**

By: phix27

One day, Ron was sitting outside. Suddenly, a spider came and sat down beside him. Ron screamed like a little girl.

"Please don't yell, and listen to my tale," said the spider.

Ron, who didn't want to be killed by the spider, sat down and listened. The spider cleared his throat and started to sing.

"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider went up the water spout; Down came the rain and washed the spider out; Out came the sun and dried up all the rain; And the Itsy-Bitsy Spider climbed up the spout again."

Then the spider went away and Ron went to play Quiddich with Harry. Later, Ron made the song into a nursery rhyme. And that's how "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider was made."

A/N: Tada! Not one of my better ones, but oh well. I need ideas. And reviews. Mostly reviews. Ta!


	8. Happy Halloween

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the Great Pumpkin or the Junior Mints I'm eating.

A/N: Happy Halloween everyone!

**It's the Great Pumpkin, Harry Potter!**

By: phix27

Every year, on All Hollow's Eve, Harry Potter sits in the school pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Pumpkin. All his friends ask why he does it. He just says: "Wait and See." They all laugh at him and tell him he's crazy. But, this particular Halloween is different. The same as every year, Harry sits out in the pumpkin patch waiting. Suddenly, he hears a voice.

"Harry Potter," it says.

"Wh… Who are y… you?" Harry stutters out.

"I am the Great Pumpkin. I am here to grant you a wish."

Harry thought long and hard about what he wanted.

"I know what I want," said Harry.

"Yes?"

"I want," Harry paused for emphases. "I want to be handsome like Snape!"

And so he was. That is how Snape Jr. was born.

A/N: I just noticed that boo and review rhyme. Boo! Review!


	9. MUTANT TURKEYS!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry Potter and the Mutant Turkeys**

By: phix27

Harry Potter was sitting with his friends, eating Thanksgiving dinner. Suddenly, there came a voice over the loudspeaker.

"Attention humans! We, the mutant turkeys, are taking over your school. After this school, THE WORLD!!! MWAHHHH!!!"

For a second, everyone was quiet. Then, the screaming started.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"QUIET!" yelled Dumbledore.

Everyone got quiet.

"Now, everyone, get out your wands and hunt down the turkeys."

Everyone got out their wands and, with a battle cry, ran to find the turkeys. The only one's who didn't were Harry and his friends. They looked at each other, shrugged, and went back to eating. Then, they heard laughter.

"That was the best prank EVER!" said a voice that sounded like Snape's.

"Yeah, it was," said a voice that sounded like Sirius's.

The group looked at each other. Then ran.

_Fin._

A/N: Hope this was up to your standards! Review!


	10. Hagrid

Disclaimer: I don't own Hagrid, the squid, Dumbledore, Voldie or the Weird Al song.

A/N: Here's another chappie! Thanks to Marauder Madness for the idea!

**Super Harry Potter Stories: Chapter 10: Hagrid and the Squid**

By: phix27

One day, Hagrid was sitting next to the lake, feeding the squid. He was singing: "You know I'm fat. I'm fat and you know it." Suddenly, in a flash of white light, Dumbledore and Voldemort were standing on the lake. Yes, on the lake. Really on the lake. Truly, on the- well you get the idea.

"Want a lemon drop, Tommy?"

"Sure Dumbles."

Hagrid didn't want to hear anymore. He ran up to the castle to tell Snape Jr., who used to be Harry Potter, what he saw.


	11. Lucius and Voldie

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say it? I don't own Harry Potter!

A/N: Thanks again Marauder Madness for the idea! On with the story!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Lucius and Voldie**

By: phix27

Lucius was kneeling in front of Voldemort, looking at his toes. _This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home…_ Oh, wait, the "Dark Lord", was saying something.

"For your incompetence, Lucius, I have to punish you for an unknown reason other then I have nothing better to do."

"OK by me."

"_Crusico!"_

"Hey that hurts!"

"Shut up! _Crusico!_"

_Hey, look! The toes are wiggling again! Hey, wait a minute; he only has four toes on each foot! Strange…Oh, dear, he's gotten the whip out. Whip it, whip it good…_

A/N: Hope you like it! Thanks again to Marauder Madness! If you have anymore ideas, please tell me them.


	12. Electric Slide

Disclaimer: What ever you say, I don't own Harry Potter or the Electric Slide.

A/N: Hey all! I know this was a quick update, but I was grounded so I had a lot of time. The dance in this chapter is called the Electric Slide. We learned it at school, and it's really fun! These are the real steps in the story. See ya' peeps!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry and the Electric Slide**

By: phix27

One day, Harry was taking a stroll around the castle. He came to a room on the 4th floor where music was blaring.

"No, Ron, you're doing it all wrong!" said a voice that sounded like Hermione's.

"Well I don't get it!" said a voice that sounded like Ron's.

Harry decided to open the door. There he saw Ron and Hermione and a stereo.

"I'll show it to you again, Ron," said Hermione.

"Um, what are you guys doing?" asked Harry.

Ron blushed.

"I was teaching Ron how to do the Electric Slide," said Hermione.

"What's the Electric Slide?"

"It's a dance," said Ron. "I thought I would learn it since Bill and Fleur's wedding is coming."

"Could you teach it to me, Hermione?"

"Sure Harry!" beamed Hermione.

"Slide to the left 4 beats then clap." They did.

"Slide to the right 4 beats and clap." They did.

"Back up 4 steps."

"1 step forward and lean in."

"Quarter turn to the left and repeat."

They did it all perfectly.

"Great! Now let's try it with the music," said Hermione.

Hermione put on the music. It had a funky beat. They did this all day. On the day of the wedding, they forgot the moves.


	13. Cotton Eye Joe

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Cotton Eye Joe.

A/N: Hey all! I had dance fever, so here's another dance chappie! The steps are the real steps. Feel free to do them!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry Potter and the Cotton Eye Joe**

By: phix27

Harry Potter, Ron Wealsy, and Hermione Granger liked learning the Electric Slide so much, they decided to take lessons. They went to Heather's School of Dance.

"Hello students!" A perky girl with brown hair and green eyes, walked in.

"Hi," mumbled the class.

"Today we are going to learn the Cotton Eye Joe."

"To start, tap your right heel in front of you twice." They did.

"Tap your heel behind you twice."

"Put your right heel out farther to the right."

"Bring your heel up in front of you and tap it with your hand."

"Put your right heel out farther to the right again."

"Bring your heel up in back of you and tap it with you hand again."

"Slide to the left."

"Twirl like a cowgirl and repeat. Got that?"

"Yeah."

"Great! Let's try it with the music."

They tried it with the music. Everyone did it.

"Good job everyone! We'll do that dance in the concert."

"We're having a concert?!?" yelled the class.

"Yeah," said Heather.

All the students run away.


	14. Joe Bob

Disclaimer: I own a book, but not Harry Potter.

A/N: Hey all! I have had a lot of time on my hands, so here's another chappie! Some bad language in this one.

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry and Joe Bob**

By: phix27

Harry was in Hell. A.k.a. Potions Class. He was really, **_REALLY,_** bored. Then, he found an ant crawling on his desk. He named him Joe Bob. Just for the sake of it. He really loved Joe Bob.

"Potter! What are you looking at that's not my face?" asked Snape.

Everyone stared at him. They had nothing better to do.

"There's an ant on my desk, sir. I named him Joe Bob."

The class nodded. They all liked the name Joe Bob.

"EECK!" Snape screamed like a little girl and stood on his desk. "Kill it! Kill it now!"

Ron, who also didn't like ants, or for that matter, any bug (because of the spider), killed Joe Bob. Harry started sobbing.

"He… he hic was my sniff best friend! And you killed him!"

Just then, the bell rang. Harry stormed out to give Joe Bob a proper burial. He would get his revenge on Ron and Snape!

A/N: See the next chappie for what happens to Ron and Snape.


	15. Attention!

**Attention!**

I just wanted to let all my readers know, I have created a website! Yeah! Me! I can't believe it either! clears throat Anyway, the URL is http://vampirequeen27. It's called: The Order. I still need staff members, so if you're interested, let me know. Thank you! – phix27 (VampireQueen27)


	16. Voldie in da' House!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: Hey! I'm back! May I remind you all that I have a website? It's called The Order. The URL is: http://vampirequeen27. Please join, we only have 21 members! Anyway, on with the story!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Voldie in the House!**

By: phix27

Voldie was bored. Very bored. So bored…

**Shut up Voldie! We get it! You're bored!**

Voldie looked around. "Hello voice, you will entertain me or else."

**I don't think so! And, I'm not a voice, I'm the author.**

Voldie was confused. "What's an author?"

**groan You really are stupid.**

"Hey! Take that back! I'll cry!"

**Go ahead. It'll make me laugh. An author writes books and/or fanfiction.**

"Fanfiction? What's that?"

**You're in one! Geez!**

"Why?"

**Oh, forget it! Let's just get on with the story!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!!**

Voldie was bored. So, he asked Bellatrix to get him Harry Potter. She should have come back by now… Ah! Here she is!

"My lord, as you wished, I have brought you Harry Potter," said Bellatrix.

"Oh goodie!" exclaimed Voldie, clapping his hands.

Bellatrix looked at him strangely.

"Just bring him in!"

Bellatrix went into the hall and came back with Harry. Well, sort of a Harry. It was a doll.

"It's a doll!"

"It's the best we could do my lord!"

"Fine! Just give me him."

Bellatrix handed him the doll Harry then left the room.

Voldie was still bored. He decided to take a nap.

"Come on Harry, let's take a nap."

**And that's where we leave them.**

**Fin.**


	17. Voldie in da' House 2!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I want that doll!

A/N: Hey all! This is Voldie in the House 2! Isn't it great? I know, you love me.

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Voldie in the House 2!**

By: phix27

When we think of Voldemort, we think of evil ruler, right? Well, that's not what we see here. What we see here is Voldie sucking his thumb holding the Harry doll. Let's go, this is scaring me.


	18. Green

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: I bored, so I'm making fun of Voldie! Fun, isn't it?

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Green**

By: phix27

Bellatrix had brought him the** _real _**Harry Potter.

"Ah, Harry Potter," said Voldemort. "Open your eyes."

Harry opened his eyes.

"So your eyes are green! The movies mislead me again!"


	19. Harry Gets a Gun

Disclaimer: You all know this statement. I don't own nothin'!

A/N: Hey all! I had a brill moment! Mwahhhhh!!!!!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Harry Gets a Gun**

By: phix27

As usual, Harry was sad that he couldn't kill Voldemort. Then he had a brilliant moment. His face turned up in a horrible grin. He's going… shopping!

_Some time later…_

Harry was creeping into the Death Eater hideout. _I didn't think of this before because…?_ He finally found Voldemort.

"Yo Voldie! What's up home dawg?" asked Harry, trying to contain his laughter.

"Potter? Um… what did you just say?" asked a very confused Voldemort.

"Dude Voldster! Don't be pulling that stuff on me! I thought we were tight, ya' know?" said Harry, still in his gangster part.

Voldie looked confused. He shrugs. "Whatever you say Potter, I'm still going to kill you."

Harry wagged his finger at "The Dark Lord". "That's where your wrong, my home boy. See I have this." He shoves a gun in Voldie's face. "What you think 'bout that dawg?"

Voldemort slaps his forehead. "And I didn't think of that… why?"

Harry smiles his maniac smile. "BAM!"

No more Voldie! ((Well, not an alive Voldie.))


	20. Ghost Voldie

Disclaimer: Don't own.

A/N: Mah! New chappie!

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Ghost Voldie**

By: phix27

As you saw in the last chappie, Harry killed Voldie with a gun. Well, now Voldie's a ghost. He's in wherever ghosts go.

**Voldie View!**

_Hm… Death is funny. It tickles my ribs. Hehehe! Hey, there's a person! Err… ghost! _

"_Hello, my name is Lord Voldemort! MWAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" insert evil music_

"_Hiya! My name's James Potter! You killed me!" James gets a weird look. "Clowns will kill us all! KILL US ALL! KILL US ALL! KILL US ALL!!!!!" He walks away saying that. _

_He doesn't know we're dead? Idiot… If I could I'd kill him again._

"_You know, you're not dead," said a voice behind him._

_He turns around._

"_Who are you?!" asked Voldie._

"_I am… your father Luke."_

"_Um… my name's not Luke." _

"_Oh, sorry, wrong movie." Darth Vader hums and walks away. _

_Movie?_

"_Voldemort! You killed my father!" said Luke._

"_Um… no… he when that way," said Voldie, pointing._

"_Oh… sorry to bother you," said Luke._

"_No prob. Hey, do you know where my cell is?"_

"_Haven't seen it. What's a cell anyway?"_

"_Um… never mind."_

When we come back… does Voldie get his cell phone back!?


	21. Um I really don't know what this is

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

A/N: Wow, it's been a long time! I want to thank all of you who have read and commented on this. Good times, good times.

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Um… I really don't know what this is.**

Bye: phixy!!!!!!!! Yay me!!!!!!!

Luna Lovegood was skipping down the hallway when she ran into Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Hello my spanking friends," she greets.

"LUNA! I hate you! You are a crazy person!" yells Hermione, who now leaves this chapter. Wave bye bye to Hermione!

Luna shrugs.

"Hey Luna? Luna, please look at me? I need attention! I'm the sidekick! I need attention!" says Ron. Luna just ignores Ron.

"So Harry, what 'ca doin'?" asks Luna.

"I'm bored, I wanna kill something."

"Kill Ron, he's nothing anyway," says Luna.

Harry looks brighter. "Ok! AVADA KAVADA!" And with that, Ron is no more in this chappie. Wave bye bye to Ron!

"What do you want to do now Harry?"

"Hm…" Harry thinks. "Let's go bug Snape!"

"Okay!" So they go and search the whole castle for Snape.

"Snape's not in the castle," says Harry, stomping his foot. "I need a detention, or I will go back into my depression!"

"Let's check the grounds!" suggests Luna.

"Yeah!"

So, they run outside and check the grounds. They even checked the forest, until Luna got scared by a Crumpled-Horn Snortlack. Finally, they checked the Whomping Willow. And that's where they found him.

"Oh Willow!" cried an anguished Snape. "If only you were human! Then our love could be accepted!"

Harry and Luna looked at each other. They decided to back off slowly.


	22. Canada

Disclaimer: That's right, I don't own it!

A/N: This is the thing that happened on the bus this morning. Seriously, it was sooo funny.

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: Canada**

By: phix27

Harry skipped in on Ron and Hermione.

"Guess what guys?" he asks them.

"What Harry?" asks Hermione.

"I'm going to live in… CANADA!"

"You need to learn French then," said Ron.

"They speak French in Canada?" he asks confused.

"Yeah, English and French."

Harry gets a pained look on his face.

"I thought they spoke Canadian."


	23. The Light

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories: The Light**

By: phix27

Hermione found Harry staring at a cell phone. He was moving it toward and away from his face.

"What are you doing Harry?"

"Looking at the light."

"Harry, you know what they say. 'Don't go towards the light'"

"But Hermione! The light has puppies!"

**A/N: Yeah I know. This is just something that happened on the bus. **


	24. Harry James Potter Potter

A/N: Moment of brilliance! Okay, so this is kinda like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer but with Harry Potter.

I want to dedicate this to my soul- swisters (yes, swisters) Witchy, Rosey and Endless.

If you wish to know these awesome peeps, just join The Hideaway (http:// thaelixir . proboards49 . com/index .cgi ) A clickable link is on my profile. Hope you join!

Disclaimer: No, I do not own it. Deal with it.

**Harry James Potter (Potter)**

By: phix27

You've heard of James and Remus,

Lily and Sirius,

Hermione and Ron

Peter and Lucius

But do you recall

The must famous one of all?

Harry James Potter (Potter)

Has a lighting scar (it's famous!)

And if you ever saw it (saw it)

You would even say it's weird (like Voldie!)

All of the muggle children (children)

Used to laugh and call him names (like Scar-head!)

They never let poor Harry

Join in any games (because of Dudley!)

Then one bright Monday morning

A letter came for Harry

It invited him to go to Hogwarts

And learn to do wizardry

There the children loved him (loved him)

They shouted out with glee (Yippee!)

Harry James Potter (Potter)

You'll go down in history! (Like Dumbledore!)


	25. Hermione Granger has a Library

A/N: Okay, I know this one isn't so good. But I wanted to do something! So here is my Old McDonald song.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own it. Sheesh!

**Hermione Granger had a Library!**

By: phix27

Hermione Granger had a Library  
B-O-O-K-S

And in this library she had a boy!

M-A-L-E-S

With a kiss kiss there

And a kiss kiss here

Here a kiss, there a kiss

Everywhere a kiss kiss!

Hermione Granger had a Library

But she wasn't reading!

O-O-O-O!!!!!!


	26. I Guess you Just Can't Kill Canon

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long! I had major writers block.

**I guess you Just can't Kill Canon**

By: phix27

Harry was walking along by the Forbidden Forest one fine sunny day, when he heard it. A Mysterious Ticking Noise. So Harry goes to investigate. He follows the Mysterious Ticking Noise to a clear. And there he sees… Snape riding a white horse naked. _What the hell?_ Harry thought. Then Snape spoke.

""Don't worry My Lord," he said, patting the horse. "I shall destroy Harry Potter with this pipe bomb!"

Suddenly, the bomb exploded, killing Snape and Harry. A few minutes later, Voldemort stepped into the center of the clearing. Smiling evilly, he spoke.

"Finally, I am free! Free to marry Hermione, for now Potter and Snape are out of the way! Mwahhhhhh!!!!!"

He walked back to the castle, going to collect Hermione and make her his bride- when he saw something that broke his little black heart. Hermione was kissing Ron Weasley. Voldemort was heartbroken.

"I guess you just can't kill canon," he said sadly.


	27. Coconuts

Coconuts

**Coconuts**

Harry Potter was very happy. He had just finished watching his favorite movie, the Lion King. He walked down the hallway humming.

Entering the Great Hall, Harry continued to hum. He continued to hum throughout his meal.

Finally, he began to sing.

"I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. Here they are standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!"

"SHUT UP HARRY!" The whole Great Hall yelled.

Harry put his head down and stopped singing. He felt very unloved.


	28. Ron Weasley: Kidnapped!

Stupid Harry Potter Stories:

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories:**

**Ron Weasley: Kidnapped**

By: phix27

Poor Ron Weasley. One minute he's calmly walking down the hall and the next…

Snatched up by Death Eaters.

Hermione burst into the Gryffindor Boy's Dorm. "Harry!"

"Hermione!" Harry slid a mysterious magazine behind his back. "What are you doing here?"

"They took Ron!"

"Who?" asked Harry.

"Death Eaters!" yelled Hermione.

"Right… and they took Ron?"

"Yes…"

"And uh… who is Ron?" asked Harry.

"You know, the annoying sidekick that no one really cares about."

"Oh right. So?"

"So we should go save him!" yelled Hermione.

"In a minute, I wanna finish this magazine."

"Okay, I have homework to do anyway."

Will Ron be rescued?

Why does Hermione have homework?

And just what magazine is Harry reading?

All this and more will be answered in…

**Stupid Harry Potter Stories **Chapter 29


	29. Harry Goes Gangsta

Harry goes Gangsta

By: phix27

One day, Neville Longbotton was eating breakfast with his friends Ron and Hermione. They were having a lovely time until everything suddenly got quiet. Someone had entered the Great Hall, shocking everyone. Neville turned around in his seat, hopping to get a look at whoever had stunned everyone into silence.

The person was walking toward the Gryffindor table. His pants were worn low and hung off his hips so you could see his blue plaid boxers. A huge green hoodie covered the rest of his body, including his head. A bright pair of purple, green and yellow sneakers adorned his feet. Five huge chains hung from his neck, one of them a huge clock. He approached Neville, Hermione and Ron.

"Harry?" Hermione gasped when he reached them.

He nodded and then looked down at Neville. They stared at each other for a long moment. Finally Harry spoke.

"What you lookin' at fool?"

Everything confirmed it- Harry Potter was gangsta.


End file.
